Angst? Me? Never.

In response to:Ignorance, always ignorance.

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 16:40:45 +0100

The benifits office,annoy the people on purpose.Thats their way of sending out whatever signal they want to send out.
Good to know that you stood up against the bullies.Well done.

In response to:Ignorance, always ignorance.

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 21:32:25 +0100

happy birthday!
have fun at twelth night x

In response to:Ignorance, always ignorance.

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 22:10:15 +0100

Bully for you to stand up for your family and benefits in general! (I totally agree with you, btw) It sounds to me you did not behave at all like the wimp you feared you were the other day. Hope that's made you feel a bit good about yourself.

Have a brilliant time In Stratford. Look forward to seeing the photos - and your review of Twelth Night. xx

In response to:Ignorance, always ignorance.

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 21:21:37 +0100

yeah! Stratford is this weekend I remembered!! :D

as for the benefits thing, GOOD FOR YOU! I would too, no you can't judge someone AT all, people like to pigeon hole others and that's really wrong in my opinion.

I take people for how they treat me, give out what you give back. There are others out there that are very judgemental. They give it out, they deserve it back in my opinion!! no seriously, doesn't matter what your history is, or situation. None of their business at all.

If peeps are nice to me, I'll do everything for them if I can, if they treat me badly, it does take awhile (i'm terrible for giving peeps second/third chances when maybe i should say 'no') but I do walk away I have in the past. I come from a realy diverse family, nothing wrong in it, my family is colourful and I like that :yes: :>> we are completely unique!

In the past people have judged harshly close family. I mean really harshly, ok, my step gramp is black, most of his family are also and some of my cousins. Can you see where I'm going with this?

I think your alot like me which I love as a mate, it takes alot for you to snap, so I back you on today completely, it needed to be done ;) XXX

In response to:God can be so hilarious, ha ha

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 08:47:39 +0100

The more I read it, the more it impresses me. I don’t know how I ever worked without hilarious and funny things in our life, Life would be so much easier especially when there's a jokes here and there. Being funny is nice because a lot of serious people are lacking with this kind of behavior that is why they are much look older. I would like to thank you for your outstanding blog post. Keep it up! Awesome!

In response to:I can so do this.

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 07:29:12 +0100

Are you going to Stratford today? Have a wonderful time. x

In response to:Make A Little Birdhouse In Your Soul

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 20:39:33 +0100

Terrific you wrote so much yesterday.

So, by no means for the first time, I was completely wrong in my adivce to you!

Maybe if you skip college tomorrow, you can write a whole lot more....

x

In response to:I can so do this.

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 23:17:58 +0100

It sounds to me as if by far the freakiest thing is looking after John with only a little help from your grandmum. It's a pity that doesn't happen before Stratford, so you could look forward to that as a sort of reward.

Btw, how far is your house from the station? Do hope your gran can drive you.

IMHO, the writing project might just be one stresy thing to much - though obviously it would be great if you could do it.

xx alec

In response to:I can so do this.

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 13:01:01 +0100

Wow you've got alot planned for November ;) sounds fabulous seeing the play though!! :yes:

Believe me hehe! 17 isn't old!! i'm 21 again!! LOL!! :)) x

In response to:I can so do this.

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 12:34:56 +0100

Sounds like a busy month. Make sure you get some rest in too, won't you?

17 isn't old. 18 is old :-)

In response to:Life since I last blogged

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 14:28:00 +0100

You are not being stupid by owning up to your feelings! Feelings are never 'wrong', although sometimes they hide other feelings even more umcomfortable...

Personally. I can understand your feelings of insecurity in the present situation, particularly as you have been so supportive of your mum for so long.

I hope one day you will feel close to someone in a way that puts these family things into perspective.

alec

In response to:In which I'm kind of a dork

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 23:49:22 +0100

I've seen the Truman Show and Truly Madly Deeply - I want to see Up but I don't think I'll ever watch Camp Rock :)

Sometimes I feel a bit like I'm living in a Truman Show type world - because I live on a beautiful island and never go off it any more because I love my small cosy little life here so much now and it does feel as though it is too good to be true - with just little dramas here and there to make it not too boring.

I loved the film - but from my point of view now - I would want to stay oblivious if I were him and just enjoy the nice life. But watching the film I was glad he escaped.

Truly, Madly Deeply is sort of along the same lines isn't it?

They are both stories of how a person has to choose between carrying on with something that is what they are used to and comfortable with or making their minds up to move on to something new and scary and take a chance on being their own people and making new lives for themselves.

I cried a lot during T, M D. I would have stayed in the house living with the ghost forever given the choice.

I think both those films prove I am a huge cowardy custard deep at heart. But I love them anyway.

In response to:In which I'm kind of a dork

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:42:52 +0100

agreed the truman show is my fav ;) X

In response to:In which I'm kind of a dork

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:10:53 +0100

I think The Truman Show is a great film. It's cheery tone just gets creepier as the film goes on.

In response to:Life since I last blogged

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 16:07:51 +0100

Yeah, I guess if I get to know them it'll be easier. This whole thing is just really new to me, lol.

Thanks xx

In response to:Life since I last blogged

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 16:06:58 +0100

It wasn't an unhappy childhood. There were unhappy times, but there were plenty of good ones too.

I don't really know. I just don't want someone to come in and change everything, mostly. I'm just kind of scared of being pushed out. But then I know that wouldn't really happen. I'm just being stupid :roll:. Once I get used to it I know I'll be fine.

In response to:Life since I last blogged

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 21:10:23 +0100

I think the very best way to deal with your feelings re: friend and kids is to keep training yourself to cope.

You will get used to them in time if they stay in your life, if they don't then no need to make a big thing about it.

I even hazard a guess that if they stay around you might actually get to like them.

In the meantime you are definitely allowed to have reservations and a feeling of awkwardness about them. Glad you can talk to your guitar teacher, I know my son finds his music teacher very much a kindred spirit and it is nice to have someone in your life like that. Good luck with the music - it sounds like a good thing to sink into and lose yourself.

You coped very well with John - I'm impressed with how you handled it. It is good that you know when to ask for help. Good for you.

In response to:Life since I last blogged

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 19:40:11 +0100

Tell me to mind my own business, but maybe the sight of your mum with this guy and his children brings back painful memories of your unhappy childhood. x

In response to:This man

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 14:04:24 +0200

Actually i can imagine you giving him an angry speech.

And then throwing bowls at him

In response to:In which I am slightly ... cryptic

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 22:50:23 +0200

I had a secret then I told someone. And I wish I never had opened my big gob! Some things are better kept to yourself...

In response to:The things I should really keep to myself

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 16:16:10 +0200

The two smart folks above have offered sound advise. I will just echo what they said.

In response to:The things I should really keep to myself

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 16:07:27 +0200

When people try to make everyone around them constantly happy it has the exact opposite effect.

People are designed to thrive on a certain level of worry. Without it life becomes unreal and then people start worrying about made up things to fill the gap.

You can't prevent your Mum from having difficulties and neither can she prevent you from having them. What you can do is trust each other to be able to cope with them when they crop up. Then you can remove one level of anxiety from both your lives.

Pain is inevitable, but being afraid of pain isn't. If you can accept that bad things happen and then spend your time enjoying the times when bad things aren't happening instead of spoiling them by being anxious about what may happen next - you will both have more energy to deal with problems when they crop up.

And they will crop up, and if you have allowed yourselves breathing space you will be able to cope with them and survive and be happy again afterwards.

In response to:The things I should really keep to myself

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 13:52:39 +0200

alec is a wise man :yes:

always worrying having someone new into a situation, you really don't know what they are like, how they are going to behave, are they going to upset your mum.

I'm close with my mum, I consider her my best friend to be honest. I tell her most things and do get hurt when she pulls rank on me as she did today.

Your mum wants the two people in her life that she loves to be happy. Alec is right caring and worrying are part of loving.

Just try to be part of the group if you can. so that you don't feel left out or pushed out. Keep the mind open about this new person (mum calls my boyfriends on parole :yes: ) until proven otherwise XXX

In response to:The things I should really keep to myself

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 12:38:24 +0200

It is natural for you to feel threatened if your mother starts a new relationship. You are very close to her, and there is nothing to beat yourself up about if you tell her your feelings - although, sometimes, in my armchair many miles away - I feel it would be better for you to be no quite so close.

Anyway, it is your mum's choice if she 'worries' about you or not. For what it's worth, I don't worry - I feel you have made wonderful progress in the last year, and your misgivings about this guy are probably spot on. But what matters is your own life. Caring and worrying are necessarily the same thing.

xx alec

In response to:How far would you go to me emo?

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 20:00:47 +0200

I do think that 'emo' girl is just attention seeking, she's probably so unsure of herself OR has seen how others treat the 'emo' types and has decided that's the best way to act.

Hey maybe she has a problem but geninue ones, just do they certainly don't want to draw attention to themselves strangely... not the ones I have known in the past. They just want to disappear and not be noticed. So the clothes are to hide from the world not draw attention.

XXX

In response to:How far would you go to me emo?

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 12:04:27 +0200

Hmm, I'd keep away from them then.

In response to:How far would you go to me emo?

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 12:01:34 +0200

I don't think I can help but steer clear. She has friends like her and none of them really talk to people outside of their own group.

In response to:How far would you go to me emo?

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 12:00:41 +0200

She does. Part of me is waiting for school to get involved really.

I mean, she does have friends but they're all the same as her. I saw one of them the other day and she blew cigarette smoke in my face. They've not the kind of people you can just talk to.

In response to:How far would you go to me emo?

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 11:55:21 +0200

I agree with banana. The girl clearly has big issues. Her need for attention is so large that she will damage herself to get it. The worrying thought is what she would do if she stopped getting the attention. I think she needs help.

Tom.

In response to:How far would you go to me emo?

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 11:27:49 +0200

I think a need to attract the sort of attention this girl is getting is a problem in itself. She must have very low self esteem if she feels she needs to harm herself in order to make herself interesting to others. Also needing that amount of attention is a very bad sign as well.

I think she has BIG problems - I'd steer well clear of her if I were you - you have enough to deal with. But no-one behaves like that unless they have serious issues, maybe something much worse than self harming that she is trying to mask and gain sympathy for a 'disguise' problem rather than the one she uses as a cover.

Think about it - how bad must whatever is going on in her life be if she thinks self-harming is the 'good' picture she gives out as her public self?

Don't add to the attention though - if she doesn't get the response she wants it may eventually lead to her seeking help for whatever is the real problem.