Surely you have not been defeated my a mere headache, Barneyrulz?

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Surely you have not been defeated my a mere headache, Barneyrulz?

by barneyrulz @ 01/10/2009 – 01:31:07 pm

So I'm at home. I shouldn't be, really, but I've caught some lurgey or other that's been making me feel increasingly crap over the last few days and since I only had 2 lessons today (not including general studies) I thought I might as well stay at home.

I've just been watching catch up tv online since there's nothing on and ended up at this program about twins that was on last night. It's all based around the nature/nurture debate and that's pretty important in a couple of my subjects I thought it might be useful to watch. Frankly it depressed me. I mean, it was interesting and everything it was just the stuff about genetics. I may have misunderstood this but what the program seemed to be saying was that self esteem is genetic - not just for twins, for everyone. It was really sad. There were these two identical twin girls and they had both started having mental health issues at the age of twelve. One of them developed anorexia and the other depression. The girl with depression has tried to kill herself a bunch of times.
Being the egocentric type person I am I started to apply this information to myself. I can't say it's not something that I've thought about before, but it had never been confirmed. I don't really know that much about my dad's side of the family, I've never asked but on my mum's side I know all the women are pretty much crazy. My great great grandmother dissapeared without a trace one day, so I can't really say about her but from there onwards it's not so good. My great grandmother was just a nutcase, and she screwed up my gran to the extent that her whole life has been limited by her claustrophobia. My mum is... well, she's had a lot of problems with depression in the past. With her though it's difficult to whether or not it's genetic. I can't talk about it because she asked me not to tell anyone but she had a really messed up childhood. So in her case whether it was genetic is quentionable. Actually, in my gran's too I guess.
I sort of lost the point along there somewhere but my original question was going to be: What does this mean for me? I have no interest in being the person I am now forever, but I can't really seem to help being myself. Hmm...

We did something interesting in sociology yesterday. We had to write about ten things that we thought defined us. Basically, we started off with "I am.." then had to fill in the rest. I found this pretty difficult because it's hard not to get... well, more personal than I wanted to be in a room full of people that I didn't know. Having said that I post WAY to much of my life online into the hands of people I've never met so I don't know what I'm complaining about.

ANYWAY

These are my ten (most of these I didn't say in class). I would be interested to know what other people would choose as their ten defining things.

1. I am of a single parent family
2. I am a sister
3. I am a reader
4. I am a writer
5. I am passionate about music
6. I am an escapist
7. I am a vegetarian
9. I am a sort of Christian
10. I am probably late

Track: Where The Lines Overlap - Paramore
Options:

9 Comments to Surely you have not been defeated my a mere headache, Barneyrulz?

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- sparkles101
- http://sparkles101.blog.co.uk
- 01/10/2009 @ 01:52:22 pm
i saw the twin thing also, it was very interesting, did you see those two identical chinese girls, when they met at 6 they didn't want to hold each other, just waved two minutes and they were bestest buddies

very interesting, can i be honest.... i used to self harm... i used to cut myself... when i was an early teenager... i hated myself, didnt want to be here at all. then after i had my miscarriage, i wouldn't have done anything, however depression does run in the family.

so that negative action i turned it around without any professional help, just knew there was somewhere else that my little one was fine, sometimes when we are at the bottom, the simplest thing can turn it around i believe and know. it did for me.

you decide who you want to be, so listen to your heart, and take a day at a time it works, also try not to be critical of self, nothign comes easy for me, however each thing is like one of those gymcana jumps for the ponies, we jump them, sometimes stumble but we get there eventually XXXX
- - barneyrulz
  - 01/10/2009 @ 09:45:21 pm
  Thank you for telling me about that, *hug*.
  
  I know! The little girls were so cute! It totally made me cry when they separated them again though.
  
  I'm trying to be more positive and stuff. It's just kind of hard. I thought maybe not writing about so much on here might be a good idea but I'm not sure. This is like my outlet. I don't know whether restricting that would be a good idea. It's kind of difficult.
  
  Thanks xxxx
  - - sparkles101
    - http://sparkles101.blog.co.uk
    - 04/10/2009 @ 09:20:08 pm
    Oh it's fine ancient history for me
    
    Write here seriously its surprising what people have gone thorugh and will understand XXX
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- alecweston ^Pro
- 01/10/2009 @ 02:01:16 pm
I will resist making cheeky additions to the list!

For what little it's worth, I think the role of genetics in things like depression is exaggerated. The childhood family atmosphere is often far more important; and with work on yourself (including honest blogging!) can help us get beyond that. xx

I am looking for a link for you, to an article in the Guardian this morning about banned books in the USA.
- - barneyrulz
  - 01/10/2009 @ 09:48:17 pm
  . I should probably have put in my whiney element, I know. I actually didn't think of it though, which is weird.
  
  I hope so. I have a pretty good atmosphere, I think. I mean, it's not like everyone's yelling at each other all the time or anything like that.
  
  Sounds interesting . I hate the whole book banning thing so much. Although I can imagine I put that across in my last post...
  - - alecweston ^Pro
    - 01/10/2009 @ 10:29:48 pm
    I'm glad that's notyelling and stuff in your family. But in some families, quietness just means that all the tensions are buried under the surface, which makes them harder to deal with. Mine was a bit like that.
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- banana ^Pro
- http://poetry4fun.blog.co.uk
- 01/10/2009 @ 02:21:17 pm
I think genetics is mainly about tendencies and possibilities.

So you can have a genetic tendency to gain weight - but you can either choose to eat more than your body can deal with and/or not exercise enough - or you can choose to eat sensibly and exercise enough.

You might have a genetic tendency to mental 'challenges' - but knowing about it beforehand and choosing to deal with that possibility by being kind to yourself and not overstressing and giving yourself a healthy outlook as much as possible - means you are negating the likelihood.

Did you ever see the film "A Beautiful Mind?" - it is a true story about a mathematical genius who had schizophrenia. He kept on seeing things but he developed a strategy for identifying whether or not they were real and then 'chose' to not be influenced by them.

No matter what challenges life sends - you have the skills and ingenuity to conquer them and make your life what you choose it to be.

I agree with sparkles - you decide who you want to be - and it all then flows from there.
- - barneyrulz
  - 01/10/2009 @ 09:49:53 pm
  It's quite difficult to do the whole positive thought thing. I have tried in the past, but something always happens or someone says something to make me ask myself why I'm even bothering..
  
  No, I haven't seen it but I would like to now. It sounds really interesting.
  
  Thanks xx
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- cassieb
- 02/10/2009 @ 11:01:36 am
I'm as yet undecided about nurture over nature. Being adopted I feel that I have a very strong genetic tendency towards certain types of behaviours. Although quite a few were suppressed while I was younger which is probably because of my upbringing.

And I had to do the I am... list for a course recently. Part of it is to do with labels and social constructions and how the meanings applied to the labels change over time and across cultures (see I do learn stuff from time to time ) Wierd to consider how you label yourself though. Think I only got to about 7 before moving onto the daft little things
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