Having a very good conversation. Well, sort of. It's sort of good and sort of making me feel really guilty. I like my friends, I really do. They're good people, they are. They're just... different from me somehow. Like, there's this whole thing that they're all involved in that I'm just not... in on. But to be honest, most of my school is like that. Most people there are so pretentious and say "darling" all the time and have these really expensive clothes. They go to these parties all the time in their friends huge houses and they go out for afternoon tea (which incidentally I am doing tomorrow. I'm really worried about it. Thank God I can only stay an hour or so.)
Beany says it's a class gap. I don't know. I don't think it's that. I just think that people are different. I don't know what it is, there's just this difference that I've never been able to put my finger on exactly. Well, until recently anyway. Okay, I got it exactly a couple of weeks ago, after that nightmare of a dinner.
I'm gunna go. I feel a bit confused. I should be looking forward tomorrow.
You know the sad thing, despite the fact that these people wind me up with their lifestyle and make me feel uncomfortable and like they are constantly judging me... I still want them to like me. I'm still really happy that they invited me out even though I'm dreading it.
But at the same time, I want to be with them but I don't want to be LIKE them.
Maybe I should just treat the whole thing as a social experiment. Beany thinks they're all idiots.
Hmm...
Track: Half Jack - The Dresden Dolls
