Archive - Angst? Me? Never.

The “tea party” wasn’t as bad as I expected, in the end. I can imagine this was partly down to the fact that I only stayed for about an hour. No. Maybe everyone was just nice? I don’t know. There was a lot of “Oh daaaaahling” being thrown about though. I had to try very hard not to laugh/cringe/smack the girl responsible for the majority of them.
The place was beautiful though. It was in Rose’s garden and her mum had decorated all of it for us, which was sweet. They had this picnic bench covered in cakes and glass jugs of orange juice with ice and strawberries and cream and everything. It was really nice and sort of looked like something out of one of my mum’s Country Living magazines.
When I talk about the irritating behaviour of the people that I know I don’t include Rose. While she isn’t exactly outside of the whole my school’s mentality she’s just… different. She doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable, and she is a friend I really want to hang on to (hence my going to these kinds of things).
I think I might be going to a sleepover on Saturday night. I hope it’s fun. I think it’s all the dinner people but probably minus Beany, which scares me slightly. No, it’ll be fine. It is my mission at the moment to become a more social person. Over Easter I got really miserable and lonely and I’m determined for that not to happen. I’ve never felt as bad as I did over that couple of weeks and I never want to feel that bad again. So yeah, socialising is apparently the way forward.

I’m going out with my mum tomorrow. I’m looking forward to it. I finally convinced her that a trip to the osteopath WAS necessary so before she goes to her appointment tomorrow we’re going to have coffee. Should be fun. I say “should” because there is a rather large chance she’ll talk about Hugh or her friend all the way through, which will be frustrating. Her friend was here all day today doing work with her. He freaks me out. I realised today that I am not even more paranoid about him than I was before, which I didn’t think was possible. I was totally analysing everything that he did. And I think my mum totally noticed, but she isn’t saying anything because she knows how much this whole thing is freaking me out. I wish I could make a decision about this. For the last few years I’ve been my mum’s sort of… counsellor person. She tells me everything, literally. I don’t really know what to think about it, to be honest because most of what she says upsets me. But what am I supposed to do? Just stand by and have her not have anyone that she can talk to? That would be horrible. A couple of my friends get pissed off about how much my mum talks to me but I just… I don’t think they understand, for a start. My mum doesn’t exactly have close friends, and I don’t have any older (well, older, older) siblings that she can talk to so… yeah, there’s me.

I don’t know where I’m going with this.

Tomorrow should hopefully be fun. Garden State is on it’s way so I should have that to watch soon. I want to tell someone how excited I am about seeing it but since I talk about Scrubs a lot they might think I have a bordering on unhealthy Zach Braff obsession. I don’t, just to make that clear.

That place is totally taken by Jake from All The Small Things. :>>