I have a GCSE maths exam on Thursday. I've done nearly no revision. I'm going to fail. I have about a MILLION peices of child d I haven't done and my mum is seeing her for parents evening in a couple of weeks so she'll know how behind I am and then will start forcing me to do it which is bad because i HATE child d and think it is stupid and can't understand anything my stupid crap teacher tells me who incidentally I also nearly mowed down today on my way to PE.
I have mock exams starting in a couple of weeks. I've done no revision. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHICH SUBJECTS I AM BEING TESTED IN. I do however know, that I have an RE exam. I don't however know, which aspect of RE I am being tested on, I don't feel this has ever been made clear to me. My RE teacher have a wonderful way of slowly slaughtering you in front of a class if you ask them a question they think is stupid, this is not something I want to happen to me. My RE teachers are TERRIFYING and I am not going to ask them.
I have to sit through media next to somebody who hates me tomorrow. She hates me becausen I was supposed to work with her and I didn't, because I did what I wanted to do rather than what she wanted to do. If last lesson was any indication she has now stopped doing any work at all and it is all my fault. She will probably start skipping the lesson more as well. Which actually proves my point as to why I didn't work with her (I didn't tell her my point, that would have been too mean, but I am right) and this will make me feel even worse because I know it's my fault. I am a horrible person.
A horrible person with piles of homework I just let sit there, I worry about it. I worry about it too much to actually do it, because I know once I actually look at it it will be too hard to do and then I will convince myself and I am going to fail all my GCSEs and work in Macdonalds for my whole life where I won't even be premoted after 20 years because I'm too stupid and scared of everything. And I will gain huge amounts of weight because I will be depressed and useless and working in Macdonalds where I will be around a constant supply of chips.
SEE? I'm even writing this now when I should go to bed and catch up on all the sleep I haven't had for the last 2 months so I am perky and alive for school tomorrow, rather than falling asleep in Lord Of The Flies.
Ok. That was a bad exmaple. You fall asleep in Lord Of The Flies whether you are tired or not. I'm falling asleep in subjects that I actually like, like RE (however terrified I am of my teachers, it's an interesting subject.)
I'm trying to convince myself I'm going to be a doctor as an incentive to actually do my work
(WHEN WILL I NEED CHILD DEVELOPMENT? EVER???!! WHY DID I TAKE IT? WHY OH WHY OH WHY?!?!?!) I'm even using !s. You know I could technically blame you guys, I talked about my choices on here. When I said "Child Development, that sounds interesting." somebody should have told that I would end up with one useless teacher and one good teacher the good teacher being the one that doesn't teach me anymroe so now I have two bad teachers because her replacement is crap and teaches FOOD TECH and sounds like she is going to pass out everytime she puts in the effort to utter a WHOLE SENTENCE which she also doesn't do that often because she has had a sore throat since the beginning of September. Stupid useless coursework filled subject.
In the book I'm reading a normal person has had their brain put into a supermodel who died from an anueyism at the same time as she got hit by a giant falling tv she was pushing her sister out from under.
Track: Ant In Alaska - Liz Phair
