Angst? Me? Never.

Work experience is an important practical step towards career action planning. It is a scheme designed to let you feel what it is like to be at work when you are still at school.

Who are they trying to kid? No it's not, because normal work has some kind of point because at least you get payed at the end of it. Work experience is totally and utterly pointless and you should see these leaflets they've given me, they're funny and ridiculous.

Apparently I'm not very well informed on the whole work experience matter. Do I have a tutor I know is coming to visit me and a specific supervisor. Um.. no? I feel as though these are things I should have been told about, and I should also probably have been told I needed to look at this leaflet a little before now. Apparently I should have sent all these formal letters, when actually all I did was get my mum to ask the lady when she saw her. Lol.

So aside from the fact that some rabid child is going to kill me I'm going to fail anyway because I lack basic key skills: communication and goal setting. Goal setting? Goal setting?!

MY TARGETS
find point of work experience.

WHAT WILL I DO TO MEET THESE TARGETS
live long enough to ask whoever comes to see me the exact point of my being there, when it is pretty likely I'm not actually going to speak to anyone for two weeks, and I'm only there for 3 hours anyway.

They have got to be kidding me with this:

Here are a number of words that ma describe your feelings about your first day. Please circle the words that match up with the way you felt.
tired comfortable anxious worried bored confident confused curious happy unhappy determined jealous horrified intertesed lonely perplexed optimisitc sad shocked smug suprised excited hysterical regretful aggressive bashful withdrawn nervous negative disappointed upset angry positive cautious miserable

The bad things listed should be reason enough not to make us do work experience.

This is going to be so bad. People always know who I am through someone else, like I'm always [insertnamehere]'s friend. Without that.. well, the fact that I'm always that pretty much shows that I'm a nobody. Being a nobody on my own is just depressing. That's why I hate goal setting. Setting stupid goals that I'm obviously gunna fail is pointless.

This is digging up lots of stuff I have been avoiding in my head.

Who knew work experience was so dangerous? I haven't even started it yet but apparently I am already doombed. I was just looking through the booklets and sheets that I was given, I have about a million and one boxes about H&S to fill in.

Be Safe!

Each day, many people are injured at work. Some are permatnently disabled - some even die.
Don't let this happen to you.

Death by small children. Yeah, I'm sure I'm in so much danger. Lol, that made me laugh, hopefully the women who run it have a good sense of humour, this could be quite a conversation opener.

I'm sure this book will save my life.

Don't worry about me, I'll remember:

Never play practical jokes - they can kill.

Honestly

I would now say I'm about half way through my slightly odd recovery process of the weird depressing last few days.

First of all, I watched Peter Pan. This film never fails to make me cry, and because of my mood I cried a lot. It helped. Like, when I get all miserable like I have been in the last few days I don't get like... like I'm gunna cry. I just get angry. And getting miserable and angry is a bad thing because it means I'm horrible to everyone, and on the verge of crying all the time. Then like... when I'm on my own, and I feel like that.. I can't. Cry, I mean. It's making sense in my head anyway. So what I always have to do is put on some film that will definitely make me cry, I'll loose it and feel a lot healthier for it afterwards. My insides are still all screwed and everything, but I don't feel like smashing my face into a wall anymore, which is always good.

That's another thing about the huge crying jags like.. they put me in an odd mood. I can just step back and look at everything, and it makse more sense than usual. I can analyse stuff without getting angry.

Anyway, so I finished my Sarah Dessen again this morning, as usual it was amazing. I think I might order another one of hers before I go on the holiday (holoday survival kit is brewing in my mind as I type) but for now I thought I'd read this book Shadow Mancer by G.P Taylor. Some of you might have heard of it, it's one that my mum was raving about a while ago, so I hope it's good.
I have to say though, this has is slightly... worrying.

G.P Taylor has spent his whole life searching for the hidden secrets of the universe. He lectures on the paranormal and folklore and lives in a secluded graveyard

I really don't know what to make of that, if I'm honest.

I think so.