My mum is unhappy today for reasons. She is unhappy because Hugh has gone really distant with her, which makes her think that he is shutting down the way that she has so now she feels like she is on her own. Then she gets sadder 'cause she's sad about the fact that she even cares.

I really do want to help, but I don't know what to say.

When she asked me why she was sad I told her I didn't know, because I'd be happy to be shot of him.

She laughed, which is something.

I have to say something else that is irritating me. There's this girl I still talk to on msn from my AOL days and she's kind of.. well.. miserable and she always has those feeling incredibly sorry for yourself display pictures that have like a picture of a crying kitten on or something saying My Life Is Shit Because Of You I Hate You type things. This mildly irritates me anyway just because.. I hate those things. Today it was something like this:

"Hi"
"Hi, how are you?"
"I'm fine"
"Kewl"
For once, when I say I'm fine I would just like, for once for someone to look me in the eyes and say, tell me the truth."

:##

"Fine" in Beckie language is like "Ok, I'm gunna jump out the window now" So I always, always say, What's Wrong and whenever I do that I get snapped at or just another thing which is someome saying they're really miserable but not actually saying that.

I'm fine with her not wanting to tell me, I mean, that's okay. I just wish she wouldn't totally discount my existance.

I said I always say that to her but then she just says she's fine again but she didn't answer.. then I started talking about rats, I thought there was a giant one in our porch (just don't ask, it's safer really.)
She never answered. I guess I could try and talk to her again now, but I don't know what to say, there's only so many totally one sided conversations I can think of.

Ahh well, better IM her anyway.

:wave: