I went to my dad's today. To be honest it really didn't make me feel any better. Looking at his house... I just.. saw it. I mean, really saw it for what it is. It's like everything in their is this huge example of their - no, his selfishness.
Sort of made me think of that Simpson's Episode. The one with Frank Grimes. Like, my dad does nothing pretty much, he clames to have this totally stressful, difficult life but they both have the money to buy eachother things whenever they feel like it.. they more have more than 200 DVDs. I don't think I really expect a lot, but it would have been nice if he'd changed his mind and thought about us before he went out and got whatever DVD it is this week. Once again youtube as let me down, I tried to find that Frank Grimes thing to illustrate what was going through my head but, annoyingly, the clip isn't there. 
Then there's the whole John thing. They are both just so... I can't exactly describe it. Like, if they think you're wrong, they'll team up and go on at you for ages and ages. John is desperate for their approval, it's so obvious that it's painful to watch. Sometimes they they don't even acknowledge him. I hate it. I just felt like screaming at both of them. Seriously, would it kill them to just agree with him even if they don't agree? Answer him even if they aren't interested in what he says? Stop being so involved with themselves for 5 minutes? I hate them. Hate them. And no, I don't You Don't Mean That because right now, at this very second I completely, 100% mean it.
I'm still trying to make more of an effort with my gran when we see her, too. Dad treats her like crap, and like she's stupid. He seems to loose his temper with her every 5 seconds, he won't ever let her explain anything to him without making it obvious that he's getting impatient. His mum has got to be the loveliest person I know, and it makes me mad to see him treating her like he does. So I tried to make conversation which... I'm not good at. I even feel awkward with my gran . But yeah, I managed a few minutes talking about Eastenders, and then John joined in and started talking about their Weakest Link thing so it was ok after that. I've been trying to talk to her more in the last few weeks, it's just difficult. I'm not discreetly awkward.
So, the title? Well, think about Homer Simpson. Frank Grimes has it right, in the sense that here was this guy, who had everything. Here was this guy who also deserved nothing.
FURTHERMORE I am allowed to be miserable, I decided. I'm going to feel sorry for myself here, so I can not mention any of the above stuff to my mum, 'cause hearing that any of this was hurting John (although he wouldn't ever admitt that he was.. she'd try to talk to him about it and he'd hate it.. it'd frustrate him..) she'd be upset. So by being horrible on here, hopefully I can spare them. Lol.
Plus, 3 people who could be parents to me don't like me anyway. So I probably can't get much worse.
"Oh it's not a personal reflection on you"
3 people
3 people
And this post.
Yeah, sure it's not me.
But then, it's okay. 'Cause this blog can't hate me. When I write stuff in here I should probably keep in my head to reduce the Miserable-Teen-Always-Feeling-Sorry-For-Herself thingy.. this is the song in my brain.
Chee-seeey
So, if you hate me now, read this post again with that song playing.
