Right, so. Basically I have this friend who I'm having quite a few problems with right now, problems that I can't really work out any way to sort, because.. I can't talk to her anymore. She makes me nervous. I've known her about 2 years now, when I first met her she was pretty shy, like me and was really easy to get on with, not someone that I would be scared to talk to or anything. But then... well, she always looks moody, even when she isn't, pissed off is her natural facial expression. Then lots of people started picking up on this, as she gained for confidence and started talking with more people. We didn't mind this, we were just there to tell her that yes she wasn't stressy and no she wasn't moody etc. Then after a while.. she started getting into the whole emo thing, because of one of the new friends she had made that she wanted to impress or relate to or whatever. I guess I normally wouldn't sterio-type but she was basically trying to be everything an "emo" was supposed to be. Which included being alternately stressed and miserable, eventually, like how she was before, this passed and she carried on getting more confident. Which was kewl, I mean, she was happy and everything. Then this whole I'm A Stressed Person Personality took over. I can't exactly pinpoint when but at some point she went from being our Beanie to being weird multiple personality Beanie.
And now nice to everyone apart from me and Rose Beanie. I noticed her roll her eyes at us after we said hi to her today, and then go back to talking to the guy that she was talking to before. I really don't understand this. She's always really different with me in spanish lessons as well. She has this massive, totally obvious crush on our spanish teacher, which for some reason makes her feel the need to make me feel completely stupid, and tell her the class (!) when they aren't doing what Seb wants. It's just irritating. Plus she's such a freakin hypocrite.
I'm just sick of her. I can't be bothered dealing with it, I like the Beanie she sometimes is, the one that I can talk about anything with and the one that... conversation just flowed so amazingly well. The one that basically gets me to pull myself together when I'm threatening to "throw a wobbly" in public. I just.. I don't really think spending all this time around the new, mean Beanie is worth the 10 minutes every few months I get with the old one.
I bitched at her today. I didn't mean to, I just keep losing my temper this week. In public. Not like me.
I think I'm avoiding her tomorrow.
Not that she'll care, whether I'm there or not doesn't really seem to be worth that much anymore.