HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Mum & Hugh were arguing all last night.
I said I told you so to her. She didn't get mad at me.
Basically mum hasn't been very happy the last couple of days, and when Hugh came round he went "Ugh, miserable AGAIN!" (BASTARD. But I'm telling the story so I'll go into colourful language later). She doesn't know why she's feeling bad, but it isn't helped by the fact that Hugh is pressuring her to go on holiday with him and leave us behind. She doesn't want to go, because one time they went away and he was really horrible to her the whole time.. And she doesn't wanna leave us... and my gran is horrible to me about everything all the time when she's down and mum isn't here 
. I would say leave us on our own, but then I wouldn't be able to sleep for a week making sure John was ok.
Anyway, so they went out, and I knew what was coming when they came home (lol). Mum told me they'd be home about 11.30/midnight so like.. when she got back at 11 I was pretty suprised. It's cause her mobile went off in the cinema and then her phone wouldn't tell her who called or give her her messages because she doesn't have credit. So she went out of the cinema and called me to see if it was me that called (cause I would have had to call her quickly if anything happened with John epilepsi-wise). So when she called me and the phone was engaged (cause I was online) She thought it could have been me calling an ambulance cause they keep you on the phone and stuff. So her and Hugh had to leave to come and make sure everything was ok (which of course it was, but I feel really sorry for mum thinking it wasn't, or might not have been). And Hugh was alrightish about it, but when they got back and everything was fine she was like.. apoligising and stuff and he said to her "well GO IN then!". Like, meanly.
So 
. Fucking twat.
Oh yeah, also, whenever mum is talking to someone and they can't leave he's really rude to the person. And when they were due to go (so they didn't miss the film) he was on the phone to Callie, so mum just said, "Sorry, but we've really got to go" And he had a go at her again and went "what do you want me do, hang up?" I just don't think that was neccisary, she only asked once. I hate him. I kind of wish she hadn't told me. It shows tho, this is never going to be over. Because she can't hurt him and he's too spineless to finish. Probably cause he knows no one else woud be fucking stupid enough to have him.
So they're definatly back together.
I can tell by the fact that they're arguing.
So it's never going to stop, the only way I can get away from it is by moving out. But I'm 14. And it would like.. really hurt my mum if I left as soon as I hit 16. I just don't want to deal with it anymore. I'm sick of being so angry about it all the time when the solution is so blindingly obvious. Just neither of them will do it.
What kind of shit boyfriend doesn't want to be around and starts being horrible as soon as you're unhappy?
I've been living with it contsantly for the last few days, he's here for one evening and he's already been horrible.
You can't be like that.
I hate him.
Why does she care so much about hurting him?
It's like the fact that he's hurt us doesn't matter.
I know this is mean to say but she's comepletly chosen him over me. There's a massive part of me that wants to say all this stuff but I know I never can.
Or as Josh said "Can't, or won't?".
I don't know. But it's not just like I won't, I actually can't. I want to. But I can't. This is stupid.
I can't be because I'd feel bad. After everything Hugh's done telling him exactly what I think about everything shouldn't make me feel bad. Tho actually.
Oh fuck why did I think that.
How much of it has he actually done to me?
Which would mean it's all my mum's fault.
Or maybe it's just mine.
