This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little:
Once upon a time
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In a land far away,
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A beautiful, independent,
Self-assured princess
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Happened upon a frog as she sat
Contemplating ecological issues
On the shores of an unpolluted pond
In a verdant meadow near her castle.
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The frog hopped into the princess' lap
And said: " Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
Until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
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One kiss from you, however,
And I will turn back
Into the dapper, young prince that I am
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And then, my sweet, we can marry
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And set up housekeeping in your castle
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With my mother,
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Where you can prepare my meals,
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Clean my clothes, bear my children,
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And forever feel
Grateful and happy doing so. "
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That night,
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As the princess dined sumptuously
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On lightly sauteed frog legs
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Seasoned in a white wine
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And onion cream sauce,
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She chuckled and thought to herself:
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I don't fuckin think so.
That even made my mum laugh.
