Today. Well, i feel ill and miserable. I am feeling better now than I was ealier. In P.E I felt so amazingly crap I couldn't even be bothered to speak, but I managed to fake happy and it made me happy which was kinda wierd.
But now I don't feel so good again. Rpse invited me to her house tomrow, and I asked my mum and (as usual) she got really anyoed with me. I really don't see what the problem is. She just doesn't want me to have a social life. She said it is because she worries, well that is NOT fair because I worry all the time. I worry about her, she is always stressed and things. I sometimes worry when she goes out and doesn't get back for ages because she saw someone she hasn't see for 500 years. BUt I don't yell at her because she wants to go out. And i don't think I'm like, the most horrible teenager on the planet!! I waited to see if she was in a good mood before I asked if I could go, AND I made sure that I asked her nicely and everything. But still she got annoyed. It isn't fair. This is horrible and selfish but. I think I should be allowed to go out, it isn't as if I'm going out at midnight with people she doesn't know. It would be an afternoon out with Rose. She actually said that she can';t be bothered to talk and stuff. That is the reason that I'm not allowed to go out. Well, that just isn't good enough. Okay, granted, she does have a lot to cope with, but does that mean that I don't? I have been the one that John has taken everything out on this week! Not her! I always want to hear about the things she is wporried about, and always have to put up with her when she gets in a bad mood. So is it so terrible that I just want one afternoon out?
It isn't my faukt that she doesn't want to go out tonight. It isn't my fault that her work isn't working out the way she wnated it all too. it isn;t my faul that John's dentist appointment got put n the middle of the day!
none of it is my fault!!!!!!!!!!
So why can't i go out for 1 measly afternoon???
I have been working really hard to get loads of homework done so i have time, and she'll still get all stroppy with me anyway. Tell me it isn't enough etc etc. I just don't think it's fair.
I mean, I do love my mum, or course I do. I just.. don't really see what the problem is..