hi. today wasn't great but wasn't terrible. that stupid boy that yelled at me yesterday heard me bitching about him today, im glad he heard, i hope he feels terrible. (ha ha, like he is gunna care). I actualy worked out how to read other peoples blogs today!! stupidly enough i am proud of myself, but, unfortunatly, i seriously doubt that is gunna get me thru my I.T SAT. Found out something quite bad today tho, there is a guy i used to talk with a lot called Ewan, and he is in hospital because something happened with his lungs yesterday, I wanna ask more abot it, but i don't know him very well so i can't really. Rose has gone to stay at Robyn's. don't mind 'm not going (io can't anyway). But i'm kinda worried. I doubt that they will like.. bitch. but.. from some things that have got said, well, let's just say i am a teeny bit paranoid. Well, today, i had to do this questionaire thingy for a new student PE teacher. I was actually honest and tried to be helpful. It's only cuz i like her. She is actually nice to me, and considering the fact that i am unbelievably crap in her lesson that is actually a pretty big surprise. I wrote a bit of a song yesterday. I wanna try and finish it but 1. it's crap, and 2. i'm not in the mood. In order to write a song i have to feel angry/upset/explodable. As you can imadgene my songs aren't exactly a barrel of laughs. To be honest i think that they are a new subtitue for crying. And they have worked quite well so far so i'm gunna stick with them.
My luchtime was kinda wierd today. I keep spending my lunches with groups of people. This is really wierd for me cuz I can't really be in big groups, its like.. i don't really know how or something. But i was with Deeon and Jemma and Rose (am always with her at lunch, cuz she is my best friend and the only person that i never fel a tiny bit shy/akward around). Anyway, Deeon and Jemma were making farmyard noises and the Infamous Devil, David Serum GHD Chip the 1st was in the area. He kept looking over. Grr!! How dare he look over doesn't he know that i hate him?? (no, he doesn't, but that isn't the point!) It sounds like i am being stupid, and I know that i am, but all i wanted was for him to be nice. And..well, he wasn't. So stuff him. He is and always will be the Infamous Devil. I'm not actually really posh to anyone that now thinks that. It was just the name that me and Rose thought up for him. It suits him. Anyway, about him looking over argh! When he saw i was looking he looked really scared and looked down tho. I'm glad, I don't want him looking over at us. I don't really like people staring in general, there is the boy in my french class that stares a lot. I dont like it and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I made the mistake of telling Rose and now she laughs everytime we walk past him. Not so he can hear or anything. Just arg. I don't wanna be looked at cuz i'm all stuoid and ugly. I really hate the way that I look. And people say that is just a typical teenagers thing. But it's not. I HATE how i look more than any other teenager in the world. I hate how I am aswell. I wish i could be this confident person. Well.. I can in my head, but just not.. in real life. Hugh's here. Oh joy. That means i can't watch BB. Oh well. Leo Sayer is gone at least. I can't believe i was stupid enough to think he was nice. First impressions are completly not akurate. Or however you spell it. I was reading this blog today, she was older, but it pretty much summed up how all the chav girls thought of themselves. They know they are pretty and skinny and that everyone loves them. But then it sounds like I want to be like them. Which I don't AT ALL!!!! I really would never want to be like them (i am making an effort to be nice at school atm). And they don't seem to have real friends or anything. And they are stupid enought to think that boys like stupid crappy yelling at me boy are attractive. ewwww. And they have boys like Ozzie all over them. they were all over Sam yesterday and she just let them. She bluashed and didn't look very happy about it but she didn't tell them to get ost or anything. Eww, actauly I am reallyyyy glad i'm not like them. Even if i wqould like to find a guy. I'm not that desperate. Thye are all really horrible at my school and they don't actually like Sam for who she is. they just like her.. God, I am never gunna be like that. I'll probably never have a boyfriend, but i think I would rather that than someone just go out eith me cuz of..
eww.
