Haven’t blogged in a few days. I was planning to step back from it a while because a few days ago I got a comment that, frankly pissed me off but yesterday was really bad and I just want something to talk to I guess.
Yesterday John finished his course at the college. That was scary enough on it’s own because it meant that the little help that we have had over the course of his schooling was finishing. And that’s just… whatever. I don’t even know. It’s not like we’ve ever had much help anyway.
Next year, John was wanting to do this performing arts course. It’s a level 3 (a level) course. We were kind of worried about him doing it but at the point when we decided to do it, we were told that he would be capable and everything would be fine.
Then he went to this open day for it on Wednesday. As far as we knew this was just a day to get to know the course and he already had a place but when he got home it turned out that the day he had been on was just an audition and that his place isn’t certain. We were never told this. He got a letter saying he had a place and during his interview it was never said that he wasn’t actually on the course yet.
So, there’s a danger that he won’t get on. Aside from the fact that this would completely devastate him and I have absolutely no idea how we would deal with it if he isn’t going back to school in September that changes everything. All that stuff about keeping the tax credit and everything being okay? That would all be gone. If he isn’t at school anymore then we loose all of the money for him AND he doesn’t have a job because the college made us think he was going back and because the college made us think he was going back Pluss thought he was going back and haven’t been trying to find him a permanent, payed placement. Pluss are as pissed off as we are, I seriously don’t think they are going to be working with the college next year, they said the communcation is awful.
So we found out all this and were all worried so the guy in charge of John’s course set up a meeting with us and the people running the drama course. They seem to think that John will probably get on it but have also increased the written work in the course, which is also unhelpful.
Then they told us that the government have taken away mature student funding.
Too many expenses claims, not enough money and now the people who actually Cn’r afford stuff are suffering. There are kids who have done the first year of their courses who are now unable to do the second because there is no money left.
It’s not up to the college to fund it and they have to decide over the next few weeks whether or not John gets the money. If he doesn’t it’s going to cost us over a thousand pounds. The thing is, we could probably pay for part of because of John’s disability living allowance that my mum has been saving since she thought we were losing the tax credit but if John spends all of that now and then wants to do a degree then what the fuck is he supposed to pay for it with?
And then, half an hour away from where we live is my bastard of a father rolling in it. He won’t help us. Not properly, anyway. If he does pay half then he’ll stop giving money monthly and we NEED that money because he went and left us with nothing in the first place. Oh, sorry, no, he didn’t leave us with nothing he left us with a ton of debt. Bastard.
And the thing is, I don’t know how likely they are to give us funding because in letting John on the course they also have to find the money for the learning support that he is going to need.
Then his stupid tutor, who doesn’t know anything and has sat COMPLETELY SILENT through ALL the meetings that my mum has had about whether or not John should do this course then says that he isn’t sure that John is capable of it academically or socially.
And the college isn’t taking into account how much this affects us. If John isn’t going back to school in September then we need the tax credit people and tell them. We’re probably going to have to pay back the last couple of months worth as it is.
Then my mum phoned Hugh because she was stressed and he was horrible and unsympathetic on purpose and just went on about how it affects everyone and not just us. For fucks sake. We KNOW it affects everyone but right now it’s bloody well affecting us!
And now my mum keeps not being able to breathe again and I can’t be arsed to go out tonight but people won’t shut up about it if I don’t and my going out is making her worry more and she can’t breathe half the time again and I don’t know what to do and I’m sick of having no fucking control over any of my stupid shitty life.
And the last thing in the stupid crappy universe I feel like doing is sitting in a stupid dress I’ll look fat in talking to people talking about boys I don’t give a shit about then going to some stupid person’s party I don’t even know and… ARGH
And this is pissing me off:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1197182/Betrayal-naive-hacker-Why-MPs-doing-help-Aspergers-victim-Gary.html
Why does NOBODY understand ANYTHING about Asperger’s?
And I’ll be as fucking negative as I want.